You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension—a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.
Being on prednisone is a lot like being in the Twilight Zone. Things aren’t always what they seem, it can be hard to navigate and understand your surroundings, and often times you feel like you might never come back. Or the even scarier thought: that you might not ever want to come back.
What is Prednisone?
Prednisone is a synthetic corticosteroid that works as an immunosuppressant drug. It is a miracle that can fix anything. But unfortunately it has some bad side effects, especially if you’re taking it for long periods of time. Besides the risks of osteoporosis and kidney and liver damage, it can cause:
- Confusion, excitement, mood changes, aggression, agitation, anxiety, irritability, mental depression, nervousness, restlessness
- Trouble thinking, speaking, or walking
- Insomnia, night sweats
- Acne, slow wound healing, dry skin, thinning skin, bruising
- Weight loss, lack of appetite
- Weight gain, increased appetite, extreme bloating (moon face)
I’ve personally experienced all the text I colored as red.
Since I told my GI doctor that I decided to have my colon removed, my prednisone doses are slowly being lowered. I probably won’t be able to get below 25mg before the surgery, but we’re going to try. Any time the dose changes, whether it is higher or lower, I feel the effects (especially emotion-wise), but then everything will balance out and I’ll go back to “prednisone-normal”.
It’s because of the side effects that prednisone is like the Twilight Zone. The world is full of unexpected sinkholes, traps, triggers, and land mines just waiting for you. A commercial, a song, slightly raised or angry voices, small accidents, fatigue, hunger, tiredness, and plans that go wrong are just some examples of possible incidents that can trigger me and send me spiraling into the Prednisone.
Most of the time I’m able to quietly sneak into my room and escape the explosion. In fact, until an incident where I wasn’t able to escape happened, my family didn’t know that I was always feeling and coping with the effects of prednisone.
But outside of these extremely emotional and sensitive side effects there are some up sides that make it a tempting drug to keep around. On it, I’m super woman. This drug turned a low-key and mellow person who unfortunately has always suffered from low-energy into a high-energy highballer who can’t stop even if she wanted to.
Food blogging is high-energy work (or at least I think it is). I’m afraid that without prednisone, I won’t be able to hack it anymore. I’ll run myself ragged, trying to get the same volume of productivity out and never quite get there again.
I’m afraid my recovery will be a lot harder and slower without the high doses of prednisone. Every time I’ve gotten out of the hospital, sometimes within a week, I was already zipping around like the roadrunner.
This is where I start unlocking that door and entering the land of both shadow and substance. Who am I going to be without prednisone? What type of person? What will my world be? That I don’t know what kind of person I am without all these drugs is kind of scary. I’ll have to find myself again. While also getting used to not having a colon. While also trying to move on with my life. Oy vey.